**The Rotten Peay is not to be taken seriously. Everything said is satire and is 100 percent guaranteed to be a joke.**

Snow does not want to come home for the holidays, according to national weather reports.

Snow has been pretty busy this year after moving away from home and going to college. The last thing Snow wants to do is come home for the holidays to the usual family drama.

Rain always makes the room cold with its piercing questions, according to weather reports.

Don’t even ask Snow about Aunt Hail. Snow doesn’t want to remember Thanksgiving 2012.

“I know everyone’s just going to ask me about my relationship with global warming,” Snow said. “What’s the point of going back?”

Weather reports indicate Uncle Drought is of course going to bring his new girlfriend and make everything awkward.

“I want to be hanging out with my friends from school,” Snow said. “We usually just talk and listen to Snow Patrol.”

Snow said it feels like the holidays are going to be a bust for everyone.

“Precipitation has been low this year,” Snow said. “I don’t know how we’re going to act like everything is okay just because it’s the holidays.”

Don’t expect much from Snow this holiday season, according to weather reports. Rain is going to take Snow’s place and act like no one noticed.